One night last year, I fell asleep with one third of me hoping I never woke up. The motherly demands of the day left me spent, empty, worn out, lifeless. If I had taken my “feeling sorry for myself” seriously, I wouldn’t have had the chance to teach my then six year old daughter the lesson she learned the next morning. I wouldn’t have had the chance to learn from my daughter that morning either.
I was tired, the kids woke up earlier than their usual already too early. I drank a cup of coffee even though I had given it up over ten years ago. I was determined to start the day bright, awake, with more energy. I was not going to let the previous day’s feelings of hating motherhood seep into today. I offered to read the kids a story before breakfast. We were on chapter nine of Charlotte’s Web. Charlotte, the very wise spider was showing Wilbur, the pig, how to spin a web. Wilbur was discouraged that he was unable to do this himself not having spinnerets or the natural knowledge of how to spin a web that comes from being a spider. It was time for Wilbur to go to sleep and he was concerned about how Charlotte would come up with a plan to save Wilbur from becoming Christmas dinner. Very calmly Charlotte instructed Wilbur to, ‘“Never hurry and never worry!”’
Never hurry and never worry. Isn’t that what mothers do constantly? Isn’t that what makes us mothers? Oh, the added stress we create for ourselves. Learning how to let go and not sweat the small stuff will probably never completely go away from our physical make-up and well being. But the reminder to try is life giving. How much energy do we moms spend on those two ways of being? Hurried. Worried.
We weren’t born with spinnerets and most days the natural knowledge of being a parent comes after the moment it was needed. But doesn’t it help to know, we are not alone? I find solace with the other moms picking up our kids at school, in line at Costco, a quick phone conversation. We are doing a hell of a lot, so stop killing ourselves by added hurry and worry. Right now one of our jobs besides getting out of bed in the morning is to teach our little ones how to spin their own webs and if we hurry that job we’ll missing seeing it happen.