Heartwriter’s Blog

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The Right Place by J.G. McGlothern July 21, 2009

Filed under: mom writer,writer mom — heartwriter @ 11:13 pm
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Decisions must be made every day.  Huge decisions like deciding where to move, what job to accept, if this spouse is the right choice.  Little daily decisions like the brand of face wash to purchase, which route to drive home, what to wear, the right words to use in an email. Our lives are full of options.  A plethora of decisions to be made.  Then throw kids into the mix and now you have even more choices to ponder.  You are not only deciding things for yourself, you are making decisions for another being.  It begins with the epidural.  Do you take the drug route or go tough?  Then you are faced with the disposal or cloth question.  Swiftly it moves to which pre-school to enroll your child.  We can over whelm ourselves, get worked up into a tizzy.  We plan, research, discuss, lose sleep, play out scenarios in our heads until we are blue.  Is it okay to give them sugar cereal, go without sunscreen, watch three hours of television just this one time? Then when the second child comes you say screw it, the first one turned out fine.

A very wise woman once gave me some of the best advice to use when faced with making a decision.  Choose the one that brings you the most peace.  I constantly am sharing this gem of wisdom.  Sure for some that makes it even harder, arguing both give them peace or neither does. I like to consult all parts of me. My head, my heart and my gut.  Usually settling on the gut.  For that makes sense to me, feels right, gives me the most peace.  Another wise woman told me this when making a big decision.  “Picture yourself on your death bed.  Will you regret the decision you made?”, she asked me when deciding to get a puppy this past winter. The decision was completely up to me.  Everyone in the family wanted it.  I can live without a dog and I would be the primary caretaker. It felt right in my gut. I was super excited.  On my death bed, I would have regretted not letting my kids have a puppy. Six months later, our puppy is one of the best decisions I have made.  He has brought so much joy to our entire family and has turned out to be super easy.

Walking my daughter to school these past two years has introduced me to new friends.  Friends I can call on for help, laugh hard with over a cup of tea.  It is true that you become friends with the parents of your children’s friends.  I fought that for awhile.  I am so glad I didn’t look elsewhere for our daughter to attend school, go on ten interviews but instead chose the school her dad went to, the one we can walk to in less than five minutes, including the wait at the one long light. 

My children have been taking swim lessons at the same pool for over two years.  I now look forward to seeing the familiar faces.  I choose grocery stores in the same way.  Does it feel right?  Do I like the familiar faces? 

I had the experience of not liking a certain place where my child took a certain class.  The people didn’t feel right.  So I moved on.  My gut wasn’t at peace.

As I walk in our neighborhood I couldn’t imagine raising our children anywhere else.  We love our neighbors.  The library, grocery store, bagel shop, barber, cleaners, are all within two blocks.  We can walk to get a good margarita, refreshing Slurpee, hot cocoa or cup of coffee.  Don’t worry the kids stay home when I walk to get a margarita but you can bet I order a Slurpee just as often as they do.  This place just feels right.  The same way I feel when I am faced with a decision and finally settle on my choice.


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