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Disappointment by J.G. McGlothern October 12, 2009

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 9:45 pm
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Not a pretty word.  No fun catchy way to introduce it in a title other than calling a spade a spade.

Fact number one: we will be disappointed in our lives.

Fact number two: we will disappoint others in our lives.

Fact number three: It is up to us to direct what we do with that disappointment.  We can wallow in it. Hell, we can throw a pity party.  Bitch, moan, gripe, eat a pint of ice cream.  Will any of those actions make us feel better?  Maybe briefly.  But not in the long run.

I had an appointment with someone today who means a lot to me. I value their opinion, expertise and wisdom.  They were a no-show.  So I acknowledged my disappointment, then went deeper.  What was the grace in this?  What was my lesson?  I had to ask for the fortitude to move forward.  In many ways, I depend too much on others guidance and inspiration to help me move forward.   I need to fall in love with MY abilities, MY strengths, MY gifts, MY challenges and gather up strength and make the choice to not become paralyzed. I need to stop telling myself that I can only move forward with the help of others.

I have what I need inside of me. Yes, sometimes I need others to point that out.  Yes, I need acknowledgement from others that I am moving in the right direction. Yes, we need each other.  But by only believing in others ideas for myself I am giving up on my own power. 

I believe Divine wisdom lives in all of us.  Believing in the Divine wisdom of others starts with believing in the Divine wisdom of myself.

I wish that was as easy as eating a bowl of ice cream.  It’s really more like planting the vanilla bean seed and creating a recipe from scratch.  But how much better that ice cream will taste when I learn to appreciate the whole process.  The planting, the watering, the waiting, the sprouting, the harvesting, the churning, the waiting some more and then the beauty of the gifts that come from the whole experience, not just the finished product in the bowl.


3 Responses to “Disappointment by J.G. McGlothern”

  1. Sukie Curtis Says:

    This line really speaks to me: “But by only believing in others’ ideas for myself I am giving up on my own power.” So true. So powerful. And I try to duck the responsibility or the aloneness all the time! Especially when it comes to painting.

    Thanks, JG!

  2. Jenny,

    Well done. But you know this. This is great writing and even better insight. I so relate to the knee-jerk tendency to wait for or expect or “need” others to guide you. Rather, you do guide yourself, even in who you choose to ask for guidance. Perhaps she was a no-show today because it was time for a reminder that the wisdom is in you, always has been, always will be. Nice work.

  3. Sadee Says:

    How beautiful that you find grace in the midst of disappointment. And how beautiful for the person who was the trigger for this that you bring such grace. It is so rare that people make space for each other’s humanness , but in doing so we help one another become better humans.

    Grace and spaciousness allows another to grow where disappointment untended creates a prison – for both people. Your maturity and your honesty is the very thing that allows more light and love into the world and we all need that.

    On behalf of people who disappoint everywhere, thank you.

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