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Choose With No Regrets — Words To Live By Part VII June 29, 2010

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 10:21 pm
Tags: ,

live with  intention.

walk to the edge.

listen hard.

practice wellness.

play with abandon.

laugh.

choose with no regret.

continue to learn.

appreciate your friends.

do what you love.

live as if this is all there is.

-mary anne radmacher

In the Diary of a Wimpy kid, Greg’s mom tells her son that it’s the choices that we make that make us who we are.

I’d like to take that line a step further and say it is how we handle our choices and their results that make us who we are.

Such a loaded, heavy line for a gal that has often struggled with choices.  The big choices were easy; the college – not many would have me, the job – drug dealer or topless dancer, the husband – again drug deal or topless dancer, the kids – keep them or get rid of them.  Yes, no regrets. 

It’s the little decisions that turn my hair grey.  So I try to think, what will give me the most peace and even that doesn’t help so then I tell myself no choice is a wrong choice.  Yes, I am aware drug dealer and topless dancer would have both been bad choices for myself, not that there is anything wrong with being a topless dancer, but I wouldn’t have made much money that’s for sure.  And I would have hurt myself with the pole thingy.  Yet, I digress.  And that is often how I need to handle decision making, with a bit of humor.  I make it all so serious so stressful for in the end I will learn from every choice and be all the more prepared the next time around.

It’s funny as my children’s teacher it is easier for me to point out the results of their choices but when it comes to my own decisions I hem and haw, scratch and ponder.  Then I take a breath and listen to my gut.  My gut rarely lets me down.  So thank the good Lord I passed on the whole drug dealer, topless gig – my gut just knew that wouldn’t have worked out so well.  And if it’s our choices that make us who we are J.G. McGlothern, the topless drug dealer just wouldn’t feel right.

by J.G. McGlothern

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Laugh — Words To Live By Part VI June 26, 2010

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 4:04 pm
Tags:

live with  intention.

walk to the edge.

listen hard.

practice wellness.

play with abandon.

laugh.

choose with no regret.

continue to learn.

appreciate your friends.

do what you love.

live as if this is all there is.

-mary anne radmacher

Sitting on a deck chair at my daughter’s swim team practice last week I laughed out loud, so loud no one turned to look.  I was reading, Are You There Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea, by Chelsea Handler.  I’m new to the place, maybe they didn’t know what to do with me.  I haven’t read a book that had me laugh so hard in such a long time.

As I kept biting my tongue and chuckling, my son asked, What’s so funny mama?  

Well, honey I wish I could tell you but it’s sort of inappropriate for kids.  I read a few more pages, laughing uncontrollably again.  My son begged to know what was so funny.  Without giving in totally, I paraphrased the story for kid ears.

Laughing out loud at a book a movie, a husband’s witty remark, a child’s impersonation – doesn’t get a whole lot better.

Last night in the living room my husband was reading Are You There Vodka? It’s me Chelsea and he laughed out loud mid-sentence.  I wanted to know what part, was she babysitting the kid with the sugar addiction or eating at the restaurant in London?

I laughed again when he told me it was the part when Chelsea was in prison.  We laughed together and that right there is one of the reasons I married him – he makes me laugh.

by J.G. McGlothern

 

Playing With Abandon — Words To Live By Part V June 22, 2010

Filed under: From The Heart,motherhood — heartwriter @ 5:43 pm
Tags:

live with  intention.

walk to the edge.

listen hard.

practice wellness.

play with abandon.

laugh.

choose with no regret.

continue to learn.

appreciate your friends.

do what you love.

live as if this is all there is.

-mary anne radmacher

Without giving anything away, the last scene of Toy Story 3 depicts how I want to play with my kids. Now 17 year old Andy, going off to college, brings me to tears as he remembers the joys of playing.  He lets go and plays like he used to, so apparent it is a part of him that has never left.

Sometimes I carry too much seriousness with me when I play with my kids.  And let’s be honest playing with my kids is not my favorite thing. I would rather draw with them, play a game of checkers, watch a movie, bake cookies then partake in some of the games they want me to do.  I get all serious and controlling, needing to do the dishes, start dinner or just something else.  It’s not the spending time with them that’s challenging, it’s playing by their rules and having fears that if I let go and get too crazy they will get too wound up.

I will think about Andy from Toy Story the next couple of days and as we head to the beach this week I will let my children hold the kite strings and not worry if they get all tangled.  For that is part of the deal right?  Playing with abandon means let go of the strings and seeing where the wind takes us.

by J.G. McGlothern

 

Practice Wellness – Words To Live By Part IV

Filed under: From The Heart,motherhood — heartwriter @ 5:09 am
Tags: ,

live with  intention.

walk to the edge.

listen hard.

practice wellness.

play with abandon.

laugh.

choose with no regret.

continue to learn.

appreciate your friends.

do what you love.

live as if this is all there is.

-mary anne radmacher

Putting myself first with sitting down to catch my breath, eat a meal slowly, go for a walk, drink my water, getting to yoga class, stopping when I am full, getting to bed at a decent hour, taking my vitamins, eating more veggies, listening to my needs…all things I’m getting better at, but still easier most times to focus on the kids having clean laundry, all food groups covered for the day, their water bottles filled, etc.  But what I need to remember is that the best thing I can do for them is to set an example.

by J.G. McGlothern

 

Listen Hard — Words To Live By Part III June 20, 2010

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 5:22 pm
Tags:

live with  intention.

walk to the edge.

listen hard.

practice wellness.

play with abandon.

laugh.

choose with no regret.

continue to learn.

appreciate your friends.

do what you love.

live as if this is all there is.

-mary anne radmacher

I learned something valuable in a training I took some twelve years ago.  When it comes to listening, it is about being present.  It’s not about thinking about your reply, or what you have to do next.  It’s not about fixing, advising or correcting, it is about being fully present to those in front of you.

How often do we do that for ourselves?  Listen hard to what is going on individually for us?

Perhaps after you have listened hard you can walk to the edge intentionally.

by J.G. McGlothern

 

Walk To The Edge — Words To Live By Part II

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 5:04 pm
Tags: ,

live with  intention.

walk to the edge.

listen hard.

practice wellness.

play with abandon.

laugh.

choose with no regret.

continue to learn.

appreciate your friends.

do what you love.

live as if this is all there is.

– mary anne radmacher

This doesn’t have to be as big or as glamorous as it sounds. It can be as simple or some may say as scary as saying I love you to someone when you aren’t certain they will say it back.

My son walks to the edge with his love expressing it to strangers, mail carriers, grandparents, birds, and to me at least 50 times a day. I love you, he screams from the other room. And in case I didn’t hear him, I love you mama, one more time.

The other day having tea with two friends, we walked to the edge with our words.  We lovingly expressed fears that we held tightly, but feeling safe, we let the words out of their cages.  The rest of the day we felt lighter, soaring, no longer holding our breath.

I know for many staying back from the edge and keeping the cage shut is more comfortable but I guess then that to me expresses walking to the edge, leaving your comfort zone.  Done that recently?

by J.G. McGlothern

 

Intention – Words To Live By Part I June 17, 2010

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 9:33 pm
Tags: ,

live with  intention.

walk to the edge.

listen hard.

practice wellness.

play with abandon.

laugh.

choose with no regret.

continue to learn.

appreciate your friends.

do what you love.

live as if this is all there is.

-mary anne radmacher

This quote was on a birthday card I received this winter.  The eleven lines of wisdom printed out in a rainbow of colors against a black background. For a month it caught my attention every morning attached to the fridge.  The words poked at my heart urging me to pay attention.

In an attempt to de-clutter the kitchen, I removed everything from the fridge except one magnet, “Love”.  I kept that front and center.  I put the card in a drawer and forgot about it until the other day, during another attempt to de-clutter.

I need to ask myself, Am I living with intention? To live this way I must ask myself the big question – the one that doesn’t typically get asked.  What are the desires of my heart? To be aware of those desires and to make small intentional steps toward living them out, even if not fully reaching the end is perhaps living with intention.

For years I have been envious of people who read all the time, able to complete a book a week, or more.  Some thirteen or fourteen years ago I started a book club that as of today remains active.  I have a stack of books by my bed and an office with full book shelves.

With these two small intentional steps I have been slowly moving toward becoming the reader I want to become.

Until recently our living room coffee table has been clutter free.  My clear space – providing calm.  With a soon to be third grader and a kindergartner in the house I no longer clear the coffee table.  These little readers seem to have a similar intention.  The table is currently full of library books for the kids with one or two of mine tossed in the mix.  Underneath the table is a basket of beginner reading books for our son – for one day soon he will be able to read without our help.

Now this full space provides purpose – reminding me of how important the written word is to me, regardless if its words about a wimpy middle schooler, alphabet rhymes or Jane Austen like descriptions of the countryside.

In order to make steps toward my true heats desire I had to clear away the tidiness.  A little mess is leading me to a place I want to be.

Although I may have good intentions to read a book a week or more, I won’t get there with a clear coffee table or clutter free night stand.  For the book stacks remind me of what I love and how I want to live.

by J.G. McGlothern