I grew up with a father whose depression seemed to follow the sun. He was alive in spring and summer, eating up life, smiling outdoors, sleeves rolled up, farmer’s tan. Once the sun disappeared behind grey clouds so did dad’s good mood. It was as if the movement of the grey clouds brought in a sadness for my father.
I know many folks in my life with undiagnosed S.A.D (seasonal affective disorder). Different people altogether when the sun is hidden behind clouds. So I know the realness of being affected by the weather and although I like to think grey clouds don’t affect my mood in the slightest and despite my claim of loving the rain I would like to think the weather around me doesn’t affect what I do or how I feel. Sometimes there is no getting around it.
Like yesterday. The calendar says early August, the kids are still on vacation but damn if I don’t know better I would have sworn November was approaching.
As a kid myself, sunny weather meant happy dad but personally it meant I had to be outside playing with friends. Sometimes I just wanted to be inside playing in the secrecy of my bedroom all on my own.
Often the weather matches my needs and desires. Warm and sunny I can mow the lawn, cool and drizzling I can make a pot of soup. But what happens when the weather doesn’t match my desired motion but instead steers it in another direction? Or like Tuesday becomes my excuse for not knowing what to do with my day. I blame my indecision on the color of the sky.
However when you are expecting to do one thing and that is cancelled because of temperature you need to rethink, come up with a new plan.
I want to get to a place where the weather around me doesn’t determine my plans and if it changes them it won’t affect my mood. How freeing it would be to be at a place where my outer world doesn’t determine my inner world.
How wonderful it would be to teach my children, we don’t need to sing “Rain, rain go away” in August, just adjust our sails for a different course.
by J.G. McGlothern