Heartwriter’s Blog

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Santa Baby December 17, 2010

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 1:52 am
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I had my panties all in a bundle over Santa Claus earlier this month.

At the age of 4, my 11 year old sister set me straight about Santa and although I have forgiven her – the scar is deep, and the pain resurfaces every December.

Not for the reason you’d think either.  For I now know that Santa is real in the heart of the believer  — but where I get stuck is “doing it right” for my two children.

I asked a group of mom friends about the rules: 1) Do I have to get the exact thing they ask for? 2) If one kid gets the exact item asked for in their Santa Letter does it matter if I don’t for the other?

You are over thinking Santa, my wise friend lovingly told me.

That was spot on and got my panties in order again.  You can’t over think joy – you can’t plan happiness.  Just like you can’t plan disappointment.

I put a lot of energy into wanting to do it “right” for my kids so they wouldn’t have the same disappointment I experienced.  I vividly remember friends’ parents asking me to “lie” and “pretend” I didn’t know about Santa, because their children still believed.  The weight of that responsibility left a whole in my gut.  Then back at school after Christmas vacation when the dreaded question came, What did you get from Santa?, I “pretended” the gifts from my mom and grandparents were from Santa and the fib made my skin itch.

I am fully aware my children will have their own story of their bubble being burst but I need to let go of doing it “right” because the only “right” way is with my heart. And as my 9 year old daughter recently said, One man can’t deliver to the whole world in one night, that’s why Santa is a Spirit, mama.

Ah, yes the Spirit of Christmas. New beginnings, faith in the unknown, little joys, awareness of light and since all of that is too much for one Christmas stocking, it can spill over into other parts of the season in other gestures of love in other moments of grace without plotting and planning and definitely without over thinking.

by J.G. McGlothern


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