Yesterday in yoga I received my light bulb moment for the morning, then when my opportunity came just hours later to try out this epiphany, I shut the door.
Flat on our backs our instructor said something like, Now, receive what comes. Instead of reacting to the thoughts that surface, observe them. Recognize them, just don’t attach. Observe, then let them go.
Her words reminded me of wisdom I learned from a counselor last summer. I needed some guidance with our big hearted, passionate son. Try reflective listening, she suggested. I see you are mad. You are really upset. Report, don’t fix. Don’t solve the problem right then or be explosive back. Don’t react just observe.
I liked how all this was sounding in my head for myself yesterday. Don’t get all reactive when a) the dishes aren’t done b) hubby hasn’t done the dishes c) things haven’t gone as you expected.
Observe. It sounded so wise, so grownup, and calming. A way toward living more in the present – all peaceful and sweet.
Just a couple of hours later I was on the phone with a software help desk guy and instead of saying to myself, I am not getting the help I need. I am not being heard. I am not receiving what I want, I blew up at the guy and called him an asshole. So calm, so mature and wise, all peaceful and sweet like.
Totally reactive not an observant bone in my body that moment. Absolutely not in observation mode until after the fact. I thought about it all day. Woke up thinking about it and am writing about it now.
Now what? I will learn from this too. I will make efforts next time to observe. Being reactive is part of my blood work. My son must get it from me.
If I want to teach him other paths, other directions to take, then I need to do the same.
I will try a new path and if it doesn’t work out completely and I only call the phone rep an ass instead of adding the hole, I’ll apologize and the next time just say it in my head. I am observing ass like behavior, but I don’t need to speak it out loud this time.
Second thought, I won’t call technical support anymore.
by J.G. McGlothern