We are given a lot of gifts of time. Numerous opportunities in life to seize the moment. So numerous we often aren’t aware of missing out until the next chance presents itself. A circle of opportunities. The good news is we aren’t really missing out, this Universe is abundant. God is a giver. We aren’t always the best receivers, ignoring the opportunities, failing to seize the moments given to us.
This weekend I stopped playing the martyr and received the moments given to me. Saturday evening I had the house to myself for five hours. Hubby and son were at a friend’s house watching a football game and daughter was at a slumber party.
The first hour, I admit, was a struggle. I fell into my normal role, playing this tape in my head,
“I should do the dishes, the kitchen is a mess, I don’t want everyone to come home to the mess.” We had not been home with two soccer games that day, hubby made pancakes for the kids and dishes were stacked on the counter and in the sink, syrup was hardening. In that hour I cleaned one counter and made bread, adding to the stack of dishes. The syrup was nothing, wait til the bread dough remains hardened in the bowl I just used. “Be productive, be a responsible mom, my “good mother” voice told me.
During the whole hour of putting clean dishes away, starting a load of laundry and making bread, my heart was racing with thinking about WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO DO. WRITE. I wanted to write for an hour. There was only one way to hush the SHOULD voice, the old voice that was always resisting my desire to write.
I grabbed my laptop and left the house. Around the corner, less than two blocks from our house, I found refuge at my favorite coffee shop. I drank my strong coffee and hammered out the words floating in my brain, swimming deep down in my heart.
When I seize opportunities like that to do what moves me and I listen to the little whisper inside of me, I never regret it.
When the coffee shop closed and my words had filled the blank screen, I went back home, listening to another whisper. Besides writing and reading, I love movies. Words on the big screen. I walked passed the dirty dishes and headed to the basement to watch a movie.
Later in the night, I started to do the dishes. I was ready to do them, my heart was full of doing things that filled me. Hubby, suggested we do them in the morning when he saw me begin the task. I was tired. That was probably the best moment of the day to seize. The next morning while hubby was doing those dishes from the day before, I went to yoga.
I had a weekend of taking the opportunities to do what I want with activities that nourish and fuel me and I am grateful. When I live my weekend time, listening to that martyr voice of “being the one who always gets things done” I emerge bitter. I begin Monday a little empty.
Not this Monday.
I believe if I would not have cleaned the house and done those dishes, forgetting about my writing and the movie, the things I wanted to do, another opportunity, another time would come around where I had to choose again. Life works like that. The circle continues to rotate and bring us choices. No decision is wrong, it is up to us to decide, but usually one of the decisions brings us greater peace.
We have choices in how we seize the moment.