“I love you.” We all have a relationship with this sentence. We either speak it all the time, shorten it, don’t speak it but feel it showing it in other ways, grew up always hearing it or never hearing it. This sentence means everything. This means nothing. Whatever it is, it is personal and you can not deny its power.
In a recent episode of one of the few sitcoms I watch, The Goldbergs, the individual differences of speaking I love you in this family varied all over the map. The mother said it too much and the father never said it. Each way demonstrating and reflecting personal traits and values.
A few years ago at a gathering of six women friends I brought up this topic. I found the variety of histories with this phrase fascinating. Our relationship to these words has a lot to do with our personal experience growing up. My dad said it all the time, my mom not as often. Instead of speaking the words my mom lived the words, showing her love and giving from her heart in her actions.
Talk to any family and each member has their own opinion of this powerful phrase. In the Goldberg family the father and teenage daughter both did not like to speak the words but felt love for one another deeply. The mother, Beverly Goldberg, had her panties all in a bundle because they never spoke their love in that specific phrase of I Love You to one another. At the end of the episode she got it. She awoke to the realization that there is more than one way to express love and to feel loved without speaking that one phrase. (It’s hilarious if you get a chance to watch it.)
I invite you to be aware of these words, how you use them, when, the feelings you feel as you hear or speak them, your expectations.
My ten year old son who tells me, I love you, on an average of thirty times a day has another phrase that sends me to the moon in back filled up with love. He says, You’re in my heart, when he gets on the school bus, hops on his bike to ride to a friend’s house, as I head out the door to a meeting. That phrase stops me in my tracks every time as if I am hearing for the first time.
You’re in my heart, he says with absolute sincerity and I feel loved all over, from head to toe, to the moon and back, inside and out.
Jenny Gwinn McGlothern is a Certified Transformational Master Life Coach, Retreat Leader and Writer. As founder of Mama Needs A Refill, LLC, her restorative retreats for women business, she is passionate about all people, not just mamas, receiving an authentic physical, mental, emotional, spiritual refill. She says, “One cannot pour from an empty cup,” and offers her clients the possibility and power of pouring for themselves, first. She is also co-facilitator at Seattle Life Coach Training (www.seattlelifecoachtraining.com), where the school “trains to transform lives.” You can find her on FaceBook, www.FaceBook.com/MamaNeedsARefill or visit her website: www.mamaneedsarefill.com)