Yesterday, although preparing for a family gathering at our house with a list of things I needed to get done, I wasn’t going to skip my Bikram yoga. I have committed to going three times a week this summer and skipping yesterday would have put me at two for the week. I could have let it slide, cut myself some slack but I was only hurting myself. I needed what yoga provides me. Balance, centering, focus, a mental, spiritual, emotional and physical refill. Family gatherings take effort, planning, time and lots of energy. I needed more energy before I gave out any more.
That morning I chose “surrender” as one of my anchor words for the day to keep me connected to God, my higher self and to what matters most. The word reminds me to let go. Rooting me in the fact that when I control everything, I get in my own way of life unfolding organically.
I refer to my anchor words during my yoga practice when my mind wanders out of the room. Recalling my intention to surrender brings me back to my mat, to the present moment. At the end of class Sunday morning laying flat on my back, finding my breath, my mind wandered to what I needed to get done before family party guests arrived in four hours. I was contemplating making one more stop at the store for one lemon to add to alll the iced tea I had brewed that morning and one more head of cabbage, just in case I hadn’t made enough cole slaw. Do I need to go? Should I stay or should I go now? It played like a song in my mind.
As I pondered the choice of store or no store I turned my head to the left and was transfixed by the tatoo on the woman next to me. Standing next to her for 90 minutes facing the mirror I didn’t see the right side of her torso. Now I stared trying to make out the cursive word. Was it in another language? Funny how long it took me to decipher for it was the word I had been seeking all morning long. My anchor to stay connected and grounded to God, to my best self.
My answer to go to the store or not was right in front of me. Surrender. Let go. Quit controlling every detail, stop over thinking, get out of your own way. The tattooed word “surrender” was difficult for me to identify because I am so use to planning every detail for family gatherings. Letting go doesn’t come easily.
Although surrendering was my desire I was resisting, hanging on to it by personal tradition of over doing. I took the tatoo as a sign to NOT go to the store. And guess what? The tea didn’t need the lemon and I still have left over cole slaw in my fridge.The best part is that the party was a success on many levels, probably because I took the time to let go and attend yoga that morning, filling up with what I needed first. I was present to my family, able to BE with them when they arrived because everything was done. If it hadn’t gotten done, I surrendered it the Heavens. Whatever didn’t get done, no one noticed.
We are drawn to what we need but we are also drawn to what needs us. That morning Surrender and I needed each other and find each other we did.
Jenny Gwinn McGlothern is a Certified Transformational Master Life and Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader and Writer. As founder of Mama Needs A Refill, LLC, she is passionate about all people, not just mamas, receiving an authentic physical, mental, emotional, spiritual refill. She says, “One cannot pour from an empty cup,” and offers her clients the possibility and power of pouring for themselves, first. She is also a Transformational Educator at Seattle Life Coach Training (www.seattlelifecoachtraining.com), where the school “trains to transform lives” both personally and professionally. You can find her on FaceBook, www.FaceBook.com/MamaNeedsARefill and visit her website: www.mamaneedsarefill.com)