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Monday’s Random Thought: Hi Dad September 26, 2016

Filed under: From The Heart,Uncategorized — heartwriter @ 7:38 pm
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This weekend I discovered my first ever cactus heart!

Walking our dog Buford this morning I saw a man with his dog almost a block down the sidewalk, headed in our direction. It wasn’t the white dog that caught my eye and then by breath. The way the sun illuminated the man’s body, the jacket he was wearing, and his slow gait immediately brought my dad to mind. I paused waiting for Buford to sniff the grass as I had a moment recalling my dad. A good moment.

 

Those are the moments I recall more than the bad. Dad died over fourteen years ago and thoughts of him will come to me at random times in random settings. It had been a long time since someone looked like him. The usual randomness strikes when the sun sets, in a reflection of a puddle or if someone bakes a pie. Our daughter baked a pie yesterday, maybe that’s why dad was visiting this morning.

 

I was filled with joy, peace and full of smiles when the man approached. Oh, I knew him, I realized as he got closer. We have passed each other a dozen times and let our dogs, Buford and Louie, greet one another as dogs often do as we share pleasantries.

 

As they sniffed one another I couldn’t keep quiet, “May I thank you for something?” I started our conversation.

 

He wasn’t sure where I was going with this, it was barely 8 am and we hadn’t had that many exchanges, but he answered hesitantly,  “Yes, okay.”

 

“Up close I can see you don’t look at all like my father, but down there on the sidewalk, under the tree and in the bright sunlight you looked just like me dad. Thank you for reminding me of him even though it is obvious now, you look nothing alike.”

 

We laughed, but I could tell still not sure, he asked, “Is that a good thing?”

 

“Very much so”, I assured him. “He died a long time ago,” I could see his expression change.

 

“I hope he lived a long, full life.”

 

I left out all the details only sharing that he died at age 76. This made him bite his lip.

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Heart shape cactus appearing randomly on our Saturday hike.

He didn’t need to know my dad was depressed all of my life and was mostly followed by sadness and sickness. He needed to know that he was reminding me of my dad. Period. Not sad dad, just dad. Dad who loved to be outside. Dad who loved the sun more than the rain. Dad who loved pleasant exchanges with strangers on the sidewalk.

 

During this time his dog Louie would not stop barking. This of course led to other conversation. Laughter. More pleasantries.

 

Similar to feeling the nudge to thank him I was now getting the poke in my arm to ask him for his name.

 

“Ok, we know our dogs’ names,” I said holding out my hand, “I am Jenny.”

 

“I am Mark,” he took my hand. His firm handshake affirming I was seen.

 

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Visiting Sedona this weekend, this landscape first made me think of my dad’s Ansel Adams calendars and books and then this landscape made me think of dad. “Hi, dad. Thanks for showing up in random places at random times.”

More dog barking, laughter, polite conversation, no rush to leave, but the natural ending to our conversation as we started to move away from one another.

 

“So nice to know your name now, Jenny. So many of us neighbors only know the names of our dogs.

 

“If you ever forget mine,”  I told him, “Just ask.”

 

“And if you ever forget mine,” he said, “Just call me dad.”

 

I placed my hand over my heart. Words couldn’t explain what stirred within.

 

As we walked in opposite directions. I felt dad again. And now as I write this I feel his love, his joy, his peace. The tears running down my face, are good tears. The kind that get stirred up when I see the sun set, the reflection in a puddle, someone bakes a pie. or now, when someone out of nowhere reminds me of dad.

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Life Coach, Retreat Leader, Writer, Teacher and Seeker. As founder of my retreat business, Mama Needs A Refill, LLC, one way I know I fill my cup is by showing up to a blank page to write. Thank you for stopping by and reading my Random Monday Thoughts, because I will be honest that fills my cup too, knowing others are reading my filled page. Life is too short to blog about anything else unless it touches my heart. Please know I appreciate you joining me on this journey whether you visit every week since I began in 2009 or this is your first blog stop.

Curious about becoming a life coach or upleveling your life? I am a co-facilitator at Seattle Life Coach Training. The program is transformative, the experience more life giving than words can describe, www.slctseattle.com.

Interested in life or spiritual coaching or want to learn more about my retreats in Seattle, please find me on FaceBook, www.FaceBook.com/MamaNeedsARefill or visit my website: www.mamaneedsarefill.com, or simply call or text, 206 255 0463.

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Monday’s Random Thought: Peace Filled September 19, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — heartwriter @ 8:17 pm
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Grateful that candle season is here, even though I light them all year long. The light of the flame is just one of many things that fills me with peace.

This thought is not particularly random, but it is where I am today. I had other blog ideas for this Monday and none reflected where I am in this moment. On this day, catching up from the weekend of not being home, my weekend to teach, I am full. Full of peace. This makes me smile because for years I struggled to get here. Clawed and itched to find my way peacefully. Nothing on the outside is different. I look the same. I live in the same home. I have the same family. The responsibilities, dramas, joys, ups and downs have had the same recipe, perhaps with different spice, but what’s different is what’s in the inside. I am at peace because this is what I choose. I’ve got my list of things to do today, same list as a hundred times before. Same responsibilities, actually more, but I am grateful I get to do them. One at a time. I am choosing to be present and when I do that the past and the non-existent future don’t have a hold on me. No clawing to get where I want to be. No itching about where I’ve been. Struggle over. For in this very moment I am here now. I am grateful, aware, full of peace. The peace I use to try to find.

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Life Coach, Retreat Leader, Writer, Teacher and Seeker. As founder of my retreat business, Mama Needs A Refill, LLC, one way I know I fill my cup is by showing up to a blank page to write. Thank you for stopping by and reading my Random Monday Thoughts, because I will be honest that fills my cup too, knowing others are reading my filled page. Life is too short to blog about anything else unless it touches my heart. Please know I appreciate you joining me on this journey whether you visit every week since I began in 2009 or this is your first blog stop.

Curious about becoming a life coach or upleveling your life? I am a co-facilitator at Seattle Life Coach Training. The program is transformative, the experience more life giving than words can describe, www.slctseattle.com.

Interested in life or spiritual coaching or want to learn more about my retreats in Seattle, please find me on FaceBook, www.FaceBook.com/MamaNeedsARefill or visit my website: www.mamaneedsarefill.com, or simply call or text, 206 255 0463.

 

Monday’s Random Thought: Remembering, Honoring, Living September 12, 2016

Filed under: From The Heart,Uncategorized — heartwriter @ 8:58 pm
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Heart made of sticks. A heart can really be made out of anything, can’t it?

It’s an interesting day,

It’s almost over and yet, it’s barely begun, still in my morning walking clothes, just finished breakast, and lunch should have been an hour ago, kids will be home soon, what will I make for dinner?

Each time I sit down there is a knock at the door, three times now, no one ever comes to the front door.

The phone rings, people don’t call, what is up today? Don’t they know today I was going to write?

I have been wanting more than anything to sit down and reflect.

I remember,

Marci, who died 17 years ago today, who was with me on my walk, she often is, I passed the tree she loved on her visit.

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Photo taken of Marci at my wedding, a year before her unexpected death. Her smile reminds me of how big her heart and laugh were, so full, so alive.

I have been wanting to process Rhonda’s passing, who died by suicide last month and Friday I learned when five of us gathered to light candles, laugh, and grieve all in her honor, that is how you say it, “death by suicide” not “committed suicide”.

Another call, this one I must pick up, really?

My last memory of Rhonda is from 33 years ago,  when I connected with her other friends from the past, they had memories that were new and foreign to me, I moved away, I found new best friends so did she.

Marci made me laugh,

Rhonda made me do things out of my comfort zone.

I danced with them both, one as an adult, one as a young girl wanting to be an adult.

Marci died in child birth, I never met Rhonda’s three children.

I remember how they both made me feel; strong, invincible, alive. One funny, one sad, both full of life, both now not here in body, but oh so alive in spirit. I feel this with Marci and am choosing to believe this with Rhonda.

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Rhonda at age 15, one of my last memories of being with her, attending my mom’s wedding, just before I moved away.

So many years passed in between. I never had the honor of knowing Rhonda as an adult, I want to tell her children whom I don’t know that their mother was beautiful inside not just on the outside, but I trust they know that.

I want to tell Rhonda’s mom, how many good things I remember, maybe I will leave her another voice mail, and just believe I have the right number.

I just want to sit down and reflect, the door bell is ringing, the phone won’t get still.

Marci and Rhonda, both moms, get it.

I don’t have to sit down to remember and reflect.

 

I can answer the door, stir the pot on the stove, throw in another load of laundry, send emails, take a shower or not, coordinate, plan, live this life all while holding them in my heart,

Their faces,

Their laughs,

Their spirits.

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One of the knocks on my door this morning. So blessed to have my great niece live down the alley. My reminder to live life deeply today in between the reflection, the getting on with all there is to do, the not getting to what I thought I needed to get to.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Life Coach, Retreat Leader and Writer. As founder of my retreat business, Mama Needs A Refill, LLC, one way I know I fill my cup is by showing up to a blank page to write. Thank you for stopping by and reading my Random Monday Thoughts, because I will be honest that fills my cup too, knowing others are reading my filled page. Life is too short to blog about anything else unless it touches my heart. Please know I appreciate you joining me on this journey whether you visit every week since I began in 2008 or this is your first blog stop.

Interested in life or spiritual coaching or want to learn more about my retreats in Seattle, please find me on FaceBook, www.FaceBook.com/MamaNeedsARefill or visit my website: www.mamaneedsarefill.com, or simply call or text, 206 255 0463.

 

Monday’s Random Thought: Mindfulness Moment by Moment September 5, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — heartwriter @ 10:18 pm

 

20160905_145747-1The practice of mindfulness is being aware of what is happening, right now, right in front of and all around you.

Last week I got out of town, just me and my dog, created my own solo retreat for a much needed unplugging so I could plug into me. During those 46 hours hanging out with me, myself and I, it was very clear that the only thing standing in my way of reaching my goals, living peacefully and being all I desire to be is a lack of mindful living. I allow my highly distracted mind and over enthusiastic energetic personality to take me down the road, down the rabbit hole or in the case of last week on my solo retreat, down the river.

On a lovely quiet morning walk through the woods and down to the river I was throwing the tennis ball for my dog Buford. He was off leash and as we walked, I tossed the ball ahead on our path. Bu would prance like a deer or sprint like a Greyhound, even though he is a Wheaten Terrier – Chocolate Lab mix, and return the ball to me so I could throw it again. When we got to the river he was thirsty and I noticed the ball was covered in dirt and leaves. As he stepped in to the water for a drink, not being mindful I threw the ball in to the water to give it a bath and clean off all it had collected in its path.

Aware of the fast rapids just beyond where Buford was drinking, I hollered at him, “Ball. Get your ball.” He was thirsty. This was his time to drink. He was in no hurry to get the ball as it ever so slowly began to make its way to the fast part of the river.

I kept trying to get his attention. “Bu. Ball.” One thing I love about dogs is that they are wonderful teachers of being present. He was attentive only to what was in front of him. I soon realized the ball would a goner. Once it left the calm area where Buford was drinking it would no longer be possible to get. I had to let go.

I laughed to myself. I thought you were going to work on being more mindful and present, Jenny?

A great reminder and lesson that I can think before I act, pause before I speak, breathe before taking action.

In this case, I only lost a tennis ball. But the lesson reminded me to be awake, be mindful, pay attention. I am incorporating this now in all areas of my life. The phone rings or buzzes with a text, think-pause-breathe, do I have to look at it now, can it wait? This is taking practice. In my practice I am becoming more of the peaceful person I desire to be by simply being more mindful.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Life Coach, Retreat Leader and Writer. As founder of my retreat business, Mama Needs A Refill, LLC, one way I know I fill my cup is by showing up to a blank page to write. Thank you for stopping by and reading my Random Monday Thoughts, because I will be honest that fills my cup too, knowing others are reading my filled page. Life is too short to blog about anything else unless it touches my heart. Please know I appreciate you joining me on this journey whether you visit every week since I began in 2008 or this is your first blog stop.

Interested in life or spiritual coaching or want to learn more about my retreats in Seattle, please find me on FaceBook, www.FaceBook.com/MamaNeedsARefill or visit my website: www.mamaneedsarefill.com, or simply call or text, 206 255 0463.