Heartwriter’s Blog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Monday’s Random Thought: Day After March 28, 2016

Filed under: From The Heart,Uncategorized — heartwriter @ 7:21 pm
Tags: ,
IMG9506831

Friends, clients, students, acquaintances and random folks send me pictures of hearts regularly now. So fun. This is gum found on a sidewalk that caused someone to think of me. Flattered. Of course. 

Often the morning after a holiday can be a let down. A feeling of Really, it’s over? can wash over you like the smell of rotten garbage. I don’t smell rotten garbage this morning and I am pretty sure I am not having a sugar slump from too much chocolate but there is this feeling. A full day of being with family, celebrating Easter in a way that honored all of our needs this year, I am grateful. I let go of expectations and I am actually feeling a little bummed it’s over. I am not ready to be back into the ordinary swing of things. The little moments of the weekend filled me to over flowing. Dying eggs together, making Easter breakfast as a family, laughing in the kitchen, my kids and their cousins hiding the candy filled plastic eggs this year for the adults to find. And I will always remember this as the year we chose to take naps and play softball in the park as a family instead of going to Sunday Mass. It was all good.

That can be the aftermath of a fun filled, satisfying holiday experience. The time goes so fast, it’s over in a blink. But, it’s really not over. The tulips and daffodils still hold life in their petals, the smell of hard boiled eggs fills my nose when I open the fridge. (Oh, the rotten garbage smell may be a little true!) The memories are fresh and my heart is full.  And that is the promise of Easter. Rebirth. Renewal. Fullness of life. This happens in the ordinary. New life can be found in the every day. Yesterday is not today but the gifts of yesterday can be brought into the regular routine of it all. There is joy in the routine. There is renewal in the business as usual you need only be open. Open and grateful to what awaits. Life is full even when we are engaged in the ordinary tasks of every day living. It’s how we choose to live that makes the difference.

I honor my feelings of being a little sad it is all over at the same time I embrace what is before me. (Lots of egg salad.)

Do you need to be gentle with yourself the day after a holiday? Do you need to remember that there is new life even in the ordinary business as usual?

Hi,  I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Life Coach, Retreat Leader and Writer. As founder of my retreat business, Mama Needs A Refill, LLC, one way I know I fill my cup is by showing up to a blank page to write. Thank you for stopping by and reading my Random Monday Thoughts, because I will be honest that fills my cup too, knowing others are reading my filled page. Life is too short to blog about anything else unless it touches my heart. Please know I appreciate you joining me on this journey whether you visit every week since I began in 2008 or this is your first blog stop.

Interested in life or spiritual coaching or want to learn more about my retreats in Seattle, please find me on FaceBook, www.FaceBook.com/MamaNeedsARefill or visit my website: www.mamaneedsarefill.com)

Advertisements
 

Monday’s Random Thought: Opposite of Lack April 22, 2013

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 9:01 pm
Tags: , , ,

Do you carry thoughts in your beautiful brain that sound like this:  I don’t have patience. I am fat. I suck at math. I am not creative. I don’t have enough time in the day to get done what I want to get done. Sound familiar?

Our brain is a direct pipeline to our heart and will feel according to our thoughts.

This morning our son crawls in to bed next to me as I am ending my prayer and meditation time. I say, What word would you like to breathe in today?  Something he likes to do. He is my little mantra guy, our minister at the dinner table, an 80 year old in an 8 year old body. He says, Confidence, ’cause I’m already full of love. And I say back, Yes, you are, but you know what else? His dark chocolate brownie eyes look up at me as I go on, You also are full of confidence.

Sure enough, this was the first Monday where he walked in to school actually excited about the day. His 8 year old self full of all the confidence and love an entire stadium of people could hold.

Are you willing to carry around a different thought today, one that is the opposite of that negative one? One that is life giving instead of life killing.

Just a thought.

 

Monday’s Random Thought: The Mind October 17, 2011

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 8:52 pm
Tags: , ,

Yes, the mind is necessary, but it can’t do everything. (Richard Rohr)

And I will add to that…often the mind gets in the way, hinders us from seeing what we really need to see, feel what we really need to feel.

by J.G. McGlothern

 

Big Toss — Ritual Part III February 6, 2011

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 3:31 am
Tags: ,

On a women’s retreat two years ago, a friend shared how a long time ago marriage still haunted her dreams – she hadn’t forgiven herself and her x-husband had been dead for years.  It was time for a little ritual, so some room could be made for healing.

What about throwing a rock into the lake – name that rock your x-husband and all the pain that went along with your marriage, I suggested.

Her eyes got big. She went outside to find a rock.  We all went down with her to the lake.  Big toss.  She said goodbye to the nightmares, the bad memories, the pain.

We all have our own shit we can toss into the lake; past relationships, angry words, negative experiences, real feelings – but after we toss them in a ritual act are we willing to leave them there?

A ritual act only works if you have courage to let the ugly pain go – to sink deeply to the bottom of the lake, to disappear so room can be made for more blessings to rise to the surface.

(Last year I spoke of a similar ritual using fire instead of water… https://heartwriter.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/up-in-flames-prayer-part-i/)

by J.G. McGlothern

 

 

Leave Room September 14, 2010

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 5:18 am
Tags: ,

Today at school drop off another parent commented to me, Oh, you have an empty nest now with your youngest in kindergarten.  How does that feel?

To tell the truth I don’t know yet because I haven’t created the space to swim in this new phase, be in it, feel it.  School just started last week and I highly anticipate that I will feel the spaciousness of the quiet nest more this week.  Last week with only three days of school I filled those six hour days with doing, volunteering in the class room, meeting friends, attending a yoga class, walking the dog, wading through email, assisting in coaching.  It was all movement with no space for stillness.  No room for emptiness.  For I know it is in the quiet moment, the space of time to breathe, the juncture to be, that I will feel what it really feels like to have my baby in school  — to not have a child at home with me.

We often fill up space so that we don’t have to feel or because frankly those feelings can be scary.  Right now I’m feeling like there is too much to do that I haven’t had the time to create that stillness.  To stand in the empty spot.  I am craving a handful of moments to be with the feelings of having an empty nest.  Or am I?  If I am craving it so badly why am I letting the space of time fill up, instead of leaving room?

What would my feelings look like if I made some room for them to surface?  Would I be scared of this time by myself?  Would I feel guilty for this new freedom?  Lonely? Or would I feel completely thrilled and elated and then not know where to go from there?

It is waiting for me.  I will leave room for the stillness and step into the empty spot to find out what is awaiting my discovery.

By J.G. McGlothern

 

Back Seat Driver July 21, 2010

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 10:47 pm
Tags: ,

Driving home from a weekend trip to our friend’s cabin two weeks ago, my son surprised me as he spoke up out of the blue from the back seat.  My little boy who struggles with quick transitions was perhaps exhausted from a weekend of swimming, knee boarding, campfires, late nights, giant marshmallows.  He seemed settled in his car seat, all dozy with sun kissed cheeks, quiet in contemplation, looking out the window.  But then he spoke up, waking me from my focus on driving the windy road along Hood Canal.

“Mama, I don’t want to die, and you know why mama?” As the tears exploded from his soul, “I don’t want to leave this beautiful earth.  I love it so much.”

All I could do in the moment was reach back my hand and offer to hold his little six year hold hand in mine.  My intense, passionate, alive, fully engaged little boy speaks such truth, such wisdom, such beauty.  And not in a small way. Nothing about him is small. His love, his words, his passion, his out bursts. 

I recently sought out help with his out bursts and visited a counselor who provided me with two tools for my back pocket.  The tools have been quite useful.  Usually his out bursts don’t deal with dying and leaving this earth they are more out of anger or frustration about not getting his way right then.  Often at the end of moving from one thing to the next.  He needs time to disengage and I don’t always prepare him or frankly, all the preparation in the world isn’t enough for him to adapt to the next thing.  Low adaptability might be one way to describe part of his temperament.

My counselor advised “try not to problem solve right away, instead offer a reflection of his feelings.”  So if he is expressing his feelings of frustration instead of offering a solution, say “I see you are mad about not having more time to play,” for example.

So I did this and have done it a number of times now. I already know exploding back amplifies the situation so I tried this new reflection by saying, “I see you feel this” instead of telling him to stop being upset and fixing the situation. Guess what? Yes. Of course it worked, I wouldn’t be telling you about it if it didn’t, right?

So when he told me a few Sundays ago that he didn’t want to leave this earth because he loved it so much I forgot about the whole not problem solving thing and I have no idea if I reflected back his feelings, I was just amazed.  Amazed and in awe that a little boy could think like that.  I was struck by his vulnerability, his beauty and could only offer my hand.  Then I said stuff, stuff I believe, stuff I am not sure of, stuff that made him feel better, but with all those words my hand probably was sufficient.

We don’t have to prepare, teach, fix, solve, control everything for our children, for that would be driving on their territory, taking up their side of the road on this journey.  Next time he explodes in frustration in an annoying way, I will offer my hand.  And the next time his soul explodes with beauty about some poignant observation, I will do the same.  Offer my hand and love him even if I am the one in the driver seat at the moment.

 

Here Now June 15, 2010

Filed under: From The Heart,mom writer — heartwriter @ 8:50 pm
Tags: , ,

Our son graduated from pre-school last night and turns six this summer.  Kindergarten begins in the fall.  Endings and beginnings. So when I asked him how he feels about entering kindergarten in the fall he says, “Sad, I am going to miss pre-school.” 

I get anxious and worry for a moment. Why do I have this urge to rush him to the next stage? He is demonstrating a great lesson I need and that is to live in the present. He is exactly where he needs to be. Here he just ended one stage in his academic career and I am ready to push him to the next.  Why do I need to engage in a conversation about kindergarten when it is only June and he just ended pre-school, yesterday. 

Summer is here for a reason.  The in between time to soak in the last season, grieve endings, gain strength and perspective for the next stage.  I am going to let my son be as he feels and feel as he is, for that is exactly where he should be.  What a lesson he has taught me on a Tuesday afternoon.  Be here today for tomorrow is not yet. Duh!

by J.G. McGlothern