Monday’s Random Thought

I live next door to a Jehoviah Witness Meeting Hall and they don’t believe in celebrating holidays because they believe every day should be celebrated. Although I am not at all close to being a Jehoviah I like that rational but only for a short time. Taking out time to celebrate special days: birthdays, National Holidays, Christmas, Easter, Halloween, St. Paddy’s Day gets us out of the ordinary routine and reminds us to pause and celebrate, honor and be grateful. I do like however the idea of making ordinary days special and celebrating whenever possible.  Maybe I should start a new religion….IrishWitness.

by J.G. McGlothern

My Favorite Things

Every other Christmas we load up the kids, the dog, stuff the car and  head to the other side of the state.  On the other side of the mountains one can pretty much be guaranteed a White Christmas.

Here we are this year, with my husband’s side of the family, surrounded by horses, acres and acres of snow, and laughter, so much laughter.

Our Christmas over here is different than the every other year at home.  Each celebration offers tradition and it’s own joys – each different, each treasured memories shared.

The year we stay home is filled with Christmas Eve mass, singing Happy Birthday to Baby Jesus, my mom’s manger pie, my side of the family.

I appreciate taking a year off from one side of my family’s traditions to experience the other.  My kids get to experience both.  Christmas with formality, Jesus, tradition and Christmas with walks in the snow, rides on snow mobiles and horse back, ping pong competitions, movies and lots of just hanging out with one another on the ranch.

I couldn’t pick one over the other.  Both together now make up the way we “do” Christmas – both with family – both with joy.

One year it’s fudge and Bushmill’s with coffee, the next lebkuchen and mulled wine.  A sit down meal in the city and buffet style in the country – both with mouth watering food, both over stuffed with deliciousness.  Next year we will dress up and head to church, this year we dress in layers and head out to feed the horses and play in the snow.  Neither way better than the other, both honoring the Christmas Spirit, both celebrating with family and embracing the season with wonder and joy.

One year isn’t my favorite over the other – both have my favored parts, both balance out the other, both bring out the possibility of hope – the wonder of love and the magical celebration of Christmas.

by J.G. McGlothern

Monday’s Random Thought

What gift will you give to yourself this Christmas season? And I’m not talking about the kind you wrap. I’m not suggesting going shopping.  Instead what gift can you give yourself permission for this year?  Is it time to sit, time to do nothing, forgiving yourself that one thing or perhaps letting go of doing something that you think “should” be done and giving yourself the gift of…..letting go, just being, allowing yourself to say no to other stuff and yes to yourself.  Radical thought, I know.

by J.G. McGlothern

Sing Loud

In the movie Elf, actor Will Ferrell tells us in his character role as Buddy the Elf, The best way to spread Christmas Cheer is to sing loud for all to hear.

In a few hours my family will be doing just that. In our new family tradition, tonight for the second year in a row we will gather with friends and do just as Buddy suggests, Sing loud for all to hear.  Dressed in Santa hats and reindeer antlers we will hit the streets and carol in the hood. It is true what Buddy the Elf says, it is impossible to be in a glum mood when you sing Christmas songs.  I’m not in a glum mood but others can be for I am fully aware that the holidays can be hard for many – uncomfortable feelings resurface, bad memories emerging.  Until I had children, Christmas was not my favorite.  Bad Christmases past needed to be put away for good and new traditions celebrated.

What would happen for those who don’t love the season if like Buddy they ate lots of sugar, sang loudly and smiled? Would the little annoyances vanish with any sadness?

All you can do is Deck the Halls, Jingle those Bells and Hark like an Angel to find out.  For it’s the little moments, the sounds and smells of the season, the small wonders that can bring out Buddy the Elf in all of us.  And singing loudly is pretty much a guarantee to scarring those bad memories back under the stairs and making room for a bit of cheer.

 by J.G. McGlothern

Santa Baby

I had my panties all in a bundle over Santa Claus earlier this month.

At the age of 4, my 11 year old sister set me straight about Santa and although I have forgiven her – the scar is deep, and the pain resurfaces every December.

Not for the reason you’d think either.  For I now know that Santa is real in the heart of the believer  — but where I get stuck is “doing it right” for my two children.

I asked a group of mom friends about the rules: 1) Do I have to get the exact thing they ask for? 2) If one kid gets the exact item asked for in their Santa Letter does it matter if I don’t for the other?

You are over thinking Santa, my wise friend lovingly told me.

That was spot on and got my panties in order again.  You can’t over think joy – you can’t plan happiness.  Just like you can’t plan disappointment.

I put a lot of energy into wanting to do it “right” for my kids so they wouldn’t have the same disappointment I experienced.  I vividly remember friends’ parents asking me to “lie” and “pretend” I didn’t know about Santa, because their children still believed.  The weight of that responsibility left a whole in my gut.  Then back at school after Christmas vacation when the dreaded question came, What did you get from Santa?, I “pretended” the gifts from my mom and grandparents were from Santa and the fib made my skin itch.

I am fully aware my children will have their own story of their bubble being burst but I need to let go of doing it “right” because the only “right” way is with my heart. And as my 9 year old daughter recently said, One man can’t deliver to the whole world in one night, that’s why Santa is a Spirit, mama.

Ah, yes the Spirit of Christmas. New beginnings, faith in the unknown, little joys, awareness of light and since all of that is too much for one Christmas stocking, it can spill over into other parts of the season in other gestures of love in other moments of grace without plotting and planning and definitely without over thinking.

by J.G. McGlothern

Oh! Christmas Tree

Every year I try and talk my husband out of getting a Christmas tree. This year I used the strong argument that we would be out of town for a week and when that didn’t work I tried to persuade him into getting a small live one for a change. You know the kind in a pot that you can bring outside when you’re done with the holidays, then next year bring it in to the house again.

I say, It’s dead, we are killing a tree to hang ornaments on it for a few weeks.

He says, They plant Christmas trees for the this very purpose and nothing smells better than a fresh tree.

Then I say, I can buy you a pine scented air-freshner, I can even get the one in a shape of a tree. And besides I am the one who hangs all the lights and decorations, then has to take it all down.

He shoots right back, You yelled at me the last time I tried to string the lights on the tree and said it was your job ‘cause I do it all wrong.

This year hubby and kids brought home a tree while I stayed home and made a pot of soup.

It’s perfect. It took a jiffy to string the lights.

But wanna know the best part?  The kids’ joy opening up the boxes of ornaments.  The delight in seeing what lay beneath the tissue paper.  Their excitement, purely contagious.

Still wish we didn’t get a tree?, My hubby whispers in my ear as I hang another angel next to a photo ornament of our daughter’s first Christmas.

Like every year, I‘m speechless.

You forget the joy sometimes and just remember the fallen pine needles, the time it takes to take it all down.  Then you watch your children rush to turn the lights on every morning and take on the responsibility of watering it and you can’t help but love the Christmas tree in your living room. The small symbol of joy.  The cut down dead thing that makes the family slow down for a minute and read Christmas books next to it and reminds you to sip your tea slowly and sit a minute.  The dead tree that brings so much joy.

Oh, I hate it when my husband is right.

by J.G. McGlothern

Monday’s Random Thought

You are your best teacher, our yoga instructor informed us this morning. We are here to guide you, make sure you are safe, but ultimately you are your best teacher. That of course got me thinking….

And I believe the best teachers, listen.

So listen to the wise whisper in your soul.  Hear the wisdom of your heart.  Trust your own teaching.

by J.G. McGlothern

Make Room — Grieving Part II

Take time to clean out, so new things can come in. That’s what my yoga instructor said to us at the end of class yesterday morning.

I had been away, on purpose, from hot yoga for six weeks. I waited until my body craved it again. In the heat and doing all the poses, it felt like I had been away a lot longer than six weeks, it was good to be back.  Just as it was good to be away from it. I needed to create some space and make room for others things, besides yoga, and now I see how I need yoga back in my routine.  We change, we have different needs, allowing time to evaluate what you need is vital, instead of just going about our routines without paying attention to how we feel about them.

When we are grieving over whatever, a death, a divorce, a friend, a dream — we need to acknowledge our sadness, our fear, even our joys over the change before we can make room for other relationships and new dreams to come into our lives. Allow space. Stop. Do nothing. Observe.  And oh yes, breathe.

What do you need to make room for in your life? Is there something you need to grieve but instead have rushed to fill that space or turned your back to avoid it?

Make room for laughter, make room for tears, then watch what comes into your life once you have cleared out the cobwebs.

by J.G. McGlothern

The Dance — Grieving Part I

The words below are taken from a reflection I wrote for a friend’s grandmother’s funeral service.  Never having officiated a funeral before but completely honored and humbled to do so, I stepped into this last week just like I step onto a dance floor…heart first, feet second.  Marguerite loved dancing and that is the thread I used to weave together words I could only hope could offer some peace…..

….Grieving the loss of a loved one can be a tricky dance.  We all have our own way of dealing with our grief and no way is better than another.  It is can be a solo dance, that can be lonely, confusing, full of fear, bitterness and regret OR it can be the flip side of all that, perhaps a waltz or the tango, discovering and allowing for beauty, kindness, forgiveness, humor, joy, and love.  The important thing to remember is your own way is unique and just as worthy as the next persons…..

Honor that you are all in different places in your head and in your heart.  Honor where you are.  Honor where each of you are, for it is a tender place.

If you try to dance fully with your grief just as Marguerite danced fully with her life, you may be surprised….

It is a risk to reach out to others, it is a gamble to hold out your hand to another…but to dance in this world is to live deeply, and to live deeply is the way to the top of the mountain.  And when you are at the mountain top, not only will you dance with the angels, you will fly and you will be supported by the grace, and the goodness, and the mystery of all that makes sense, and what a wonderful surprise that will be.

You may not be at the beginning of the dance of grief with a loved one like my friend and her family, but we all experience grief at many levels over many things.  Perhaps you are grieving Christmases past, the loss of a phase in your life, the loss of a job, the loss of knowing what direction you want to take.  Even if a wanted change is in your life, allowing grieving over the transition, only allows for more light.  And allowing for more light, only helps you see the dance floor more clearly.  So step out and be gentle with yourself as you navigate your new steps.

by J.G. McGlothern

Monday’s Random Thought

Silence speaks volumes.

by J.G. McGlothern