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Monday’s Random Thought: Creativity October 31, 2011

Filed under: Observation — heartwriter @ 8:00 pm
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On this day, one of my favorite holidays, even more than the candy containing peanut butter, more than the roasted pumpkin seeds and caramel apples, even more than the
dressing up as someone or something I am not in normal life…I love the
creativity people express on Halloween.

Beyond the store purchased masks, the perfectly sewn costumes from grandma, I so love seeing what people come up with. This morning at my kid’s school the secretary
dressed as pumpkin pie with whip cream on top and no she wasn’t walking around in a cardboard cut-out of a pie. She wore a pumpkin pie colored long sleeve shirt and attached the mathematical symbol for pi with black duct tape on the front of it. She had a white hat that looked like whip cream. Simple, but creative. A mom tutor went as Tina Fey’s character, Liz Lemon, the kids had no clue who she was I’m sure, but the adults did.

And that’s the other thing I love about Halloween, it is not just for kids, it is a holiday
for us adults too. If we don’t feel like we are the creative type, then we can just enjoy the creativity of others and if we let go a bit, be inspired.

by J.G. McGlothern

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St. Francis – Peace Part III October 28, 2011

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 1:18 pm
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St. Francis is not just the guy we pray to, to bless our animals. The way he lived his life, a few years back, starting in 1181, is an example of living a peaceful existence.
The little we know about this man, who renounced his family’s wealth and became a traveling preacher is that he had an incredibly deep and inspiring connection to animals and nature.

When I visited his birth place in Assisi, Italy nearly four years ago, I stood in the places it is said he walked and tried to soak up his peacefulness. I thought maybe by standing where he stood some of his peaceful spirit would leak into my being.
HA! Oh, how we want to live peaceful lives and oh how we make it so difficult.

I leave you with the Prayer of St. Francis that inspired me earlier this week to explore peace a bit this week:

Make me a channel of your peace.

Where there is hatred let me bring your
love.

Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,

And where there’s doubt to faith in you.

 

Make me a channel of your peace.

Where there’s despair in life, let me bring
hope.

Where there is darkness only light,

And where there’s sadness ever joy.

 

Make me a channel of your peace.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

In giving of ourselves that we receive,

And in dying that we’re born to eternal
life.

A lot to chew on, but I’ll start with a small bite, and let go of the outcome and watch and delight in where it takes me.

by J.G. McGlothern

 

Drug of Choice – Peace Part II October 27, 2011

Filed under: From The Heart,Observation — heartwriter @ 7:28 pm
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Our dog Buford is addicted to love. His Aussie-Poodle canine love is Stella. When they don’t see each other they get mopey, down around the mouth, tails droop, they are longing for their mi amore. Then that moment happens, Stella is at the front door, they sense each other before the bell. Immediate connection. They bite, roll, pose in downward dog, romp some more, jump with joy.

A few minutes later, they are good, no more moping. They are with their love drug, balanced out, at peace in each other’s company.

Nearly eighty years ago, when I was barely pregnant with our son and didn’t know it,  I had my first panic attack. Our two year old daughter starred at me wide eyed, as I hyperventilated into a sobbing puddle on the bathroom floor. Then a few days later I freaked out again throwing a bowl of tuna fish at the kitchen wall.  Was I repeating history and turning into my mentally ill father? I called the doctor.

Pregnancy test confirmed the nausea but not the sudden temperament change.  The doctor put me on anti-anxiety meds and gave me the list of approved counselors. Open to counseling, I went. Curious about being on anti-anxiety drugs while pregnant, I asked questions.

Prozac will be great for you, many pregnant women take it, she advised.

The counseling was fine and I have benefitted from it at other times, this time, not so much. I didn’t go back and just took the drugs.

A few years later when my kids were roughly the ages five and three, I visited an Energy Healer. I told her about the low dose of Prozac I had been on for three years. I voiced fears of becoming dependent on it and developing severe depression and mental issues like my father.

Her warm smile filled her being as she calmly spoke, No, not your issues you just need the Prozac as a balancing agent.

The next year I experimented with other balancing agents: yoga, meditation, breathing deeply, carving out time for me, more yoga, walking. Then one day I changed my story. Instead of saying, I need Prozac while me kids are little, I need Prozac to cope. I started saying, I take the time I need for my balancing agent, I can cope without Prozac.

 

Then I did what you aren’t supposed to do with anti-anxiety meds and quit cold turkey.

That was over four years ago. I am thankful for the Prozac helping me when I needed it, but I am even more thankful for learning about other balancing agents and for opening my mind to possibility.

I told you yesterday, that Monday and Tuesday I was breathing fast. So I remembered an herb that can help, so I walked my dog to my naturopath and picked up a bottle of Stress-X. My new drug of choice. Either it is the herbs and vitamins in the capsule or the time I took to write or the two yoga classes I attended this week or the long walk with the dogs or the deep breathing, no matter what, something is working, today Thursday as I feel more like me and am breathing normal again.

As I look out the window and see the dogs prancing like bunnies, I take another deep breath, before moving to the next thing, and I am filled with I don’t know what you’d call it? Perhaps peace.

by J.G. McGlothern

 

Intention – Peace Part I October 26, 2011

Filed under: From The Heart — heartwriter @ 7:51 pm
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In the middle of Sunday mass this weekend I made the decision to write my blog series this week on peace. That’s what I do, pick the topic, find the words later. No research really, I start with an idea, an intention, then see what follows.

The sun shone through the window, the words of the homily spoke to me, my husband a non-church- goer was even seated next to me, my heart was full and light at the same time. I sat content, inspired, you could say peaceful.

This morning, when hubby’s alarm went off at 5:40, I was the one who woke up. Fighting off the beginning stage of a cold, my body feeling anything but light, I wanted to keep sleeping. For an hour I tossed and turned, not at peace. My mind unraveling thoughts, like pulling a blanket from a sleeping child’s legs that has twisted its way around tightly.

After Sunday I have been feeling the opposite of peaceful. My breathing has accelerated, I have developed a bug, items aren’t getting checked off the list, I’ve agreed to do too much…blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

In my tossing and turning this morning I remembered my intention to write about peace all started with a song sung at church, words that speak to my heart every time I hear them.  The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi speaks of being an instrument of peace. To be an instrument of peace in this precious life I am living was my intention and I let all that was happening around me block the light.

I thought I needed to sleep, but in the tossing and turning I found a bit of clarity, some acceptance and new inspiration.

When I am feeling a sore throat come on, my body is signaling me too slow down, be gentle with myself, take good care, not charge ahead at full steam. Some of the best intentions just need us to let go of the steering wheel.

I wasn’t willing to do that Monday and Tuesday of this week, so my breathing was anything but peaceful. But here on Wednesday I am remembering my intention, winding my way back to breathing deeper and slower, even if things aren’t getting checked off the list as fast as I’d like them to, my legs are coming loose from the blanket so that I can stand up and remember to open the blinds to let some light through the window.

As I learn peace doesn’t come from the state of all around you, it comes from a place inside, deep inside of our souls, I will get my legs twisted again, but I will not be so hard on myself and I will come back to my intention.

 by J.G. McGlothern

 

Monday’s Random Thought: Smile October 24, 2011

Filed under: Observation — heartwriter @ 1:18 pm
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Walking into Peet’s Coffee and Tea House last week, I caught eyes with a woman, we smiled at each other, then I continued up to the counter. She was writing in a notebook, sitting alone, wearing purple and had medium length hair, all wildly windblown from the afternoon.

After finding a table and ordering my pot of tea, we caught eyes again, she was somewhere between sixty and seventy in age.

I like your smile, she told me.

Well, thank you, I like yours, I told her back. Then we smiled at each other again, taking a brief moment to just connect without words before I went back to my table.

I love how children and folks in the upper age range, call it like they see it. If they like something or don’t like something, they tell you. No ambiguity, no grey area.

I also love how a shared smile with a stranger can change your perspective in that moment.

by J.G. McGlothern

 

Suspended — Presence Part III October 23, 2011

Filed under: From The Heart,Observation — heartwriter @ 8:35 pm
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I love how God shows up in the stillness. God is really always there but it is in the stillness that I am aware of God’s presence.

Walking this morning I notice a leaf, already touched by autumn, deep yellow in color, hanging mid-air. Floating, still.

On closer look I see it is suspended mid-air by one practically transparent thread of a spider’s web. I am in awe of the power this one thread holds. See through, yet strong.

The leaf, saved from dropping to the wet ground, still given a chance to be part of the tree, floats like I do, in between here and there, hanging by a strong invisible force.

The leaf can only be grounded in the presence, hanging there, neither on the tree or resting on the ground, but suspended by the gift of the spider.

by J.G. McGlothern

When I am still enough to be aware, silent enough to be open, I feel the invisible brush on my brow of all the gifts in my life and I am humbled.

 

Pause — Presence continued October 21, 2011

Filed under: From The Heart,mom writer,Observation — heartwriter @ 10:11 pm

For more on presence, not really Part III, more like part II 1/2, please visit my website… www.mamaneedsarefill.com to read, http://www.mamaneedsarefill.com/2011/10/fridays-free-refill-pause/.